Dammit email people, are you even trying anymore?

This is embarassing.

I’m used to getting those spam emails from “Best Delhi SEO” @gmail.com but this is so outrageously random I actually had to post it. I’m half thinking about responding to see what this is all about and maybe get a nice fun post about it.

But seriously. I want to start with how I went through this email, give you a bit of email marketing experiences gone bad.

1. The Subject Line

the first thing that stood out to me was the Subject line. Arguably the strongest part of your email, maybe behind your brand name.

WordPress chicago

Hey! not bad, I use wordpress and I live in Chicago that’s pretty relatable right? Considering they didn’t have the decency to capitalize the “C” in Chicago is already a detriment to the email. But what the hell I don’t get a lot of emails that say that so might as well click on it right? Get your grammar right people.

*Click*

mother of god

Nothing better than a:

Hi,

blah blah blah blah.

Thanks,

Sent from AOL mail

Maybe they’re thinking differently and going the Apple route and making everything simple with a white background. Wait… are they serious about that sender?

2. eurodancemixes@aol.com

Dammit eurodancemixes I understand the gravitational pull that the euro dance mix effect has on our generation, with their drugs and their lasers and smoke – but dude. I can’t take you seriously with that account name.

Especially when…

3. wordpresschicago.com

You’re trying to sell me an obviously spammy domain that’s brand is already owned by a multi-million dollar company. It has no links pointing to it (yes I checked) and provides no value to me, or anyone that has the slightest hint of what they are doing.

I wonder how many people got this email and thought to themselves, oh! I should buy that domain it’ll make me a ton of money! Which takes me to

4. kcups??

What the fu… well, I do have a Keurig. and this will definitely help with the euro dance mix I listen to while I work on building wordpresschicago.com and dominating the internet.

Rant over

Sorry people. I know this was a pointless post but seriously, don’t spam people with useless shit. I hope this guy didn’t spend any money blasting it out or at least didn’t spend time working on this email. That would be very depressing.

And get a gmail account. What is this the 90s?

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